Notes: No Forced Marches or Feeding

pieHere at Social Arts Atlanta, we receive search engine alerts for articles containing the words etiquette and manners. People around the planet blog about these subjects regularly. Sometimes there are great finds and we repost these to our Facebook page (hope you will like us on FB) and at other times, a review and not a repost is in order. Here is one such review.

An expert was asked to settle a dispute between husband and wife about the behavior of a guest who attended their New Year’s celebration. The guest did not eat much during the event and repeatedly discussed that she was “trying to cut back.” This guest raved about the small portions she consumed but refused dessert. The wife thought the guest extreemly rude to not have eaten more and to have declined dessert. The wife wanted this guest to be removed from the household’s invitee list while the husband was not offended and wanted the guest to remain.

The etiquette expert weighed-in in favor of the wife because the expert felt that it was rude not to eat full servings of offered food and that it was even worse that the guest refused food.


There are two people in this situation that lack consideration for others, the hostess and the guest. But, not for the reasons the expert sites.

As a host, you provide for the possible needs of your guests. The only guarantee you have is their company. Guests do not have to partake in everything that you offer. They may not care to see your garden regardless of how many new varieties of hostas you just planted. Or, they might only drink one bottled water instead of the three that you planned for each guest. No forced marches or feedings allowed.

Now, for the guest. Even with nearly every magazine cover shouting the benefits of a new diet, it is best to keep relatively quiet about yours. When you are offered something that you do not care for, a sincere “no thank you” is all that is required. You may not even need to mention your eating plan. If you repeatedly talk about it, you impose it on others and they are not on your diet.

So, hosts, enjoy your guest’s company and do not count his/her calorie intake. And, guests, be discreet about your regime. It keeps your mouth shut which could possibly help your diet.